kenny, your a comedy genius!

take note rob nich!

Don’t start me on Computer games.

 They are worst than Alcohol and drugs for young people. 

To answer your question Cow

And after great deliberation as important as who won the Primary school sack race for year’s 3 and 4 in Tavernspite CP Last Wednesday

I agree there are some very valid points in that rant Kenny.  There is definitely is a lot of fcuking about in tennis.

Even more pointless than tennis is playing tennis on a WII.  I've never had a go on a WII but reckon the concept of playing virtual tennis or virtual any sport in front of a screen in your living room has got to be one of the most pointless activities humans have invented.  Makes fat people believe they are doing exercise.

They have been asking on radio 5 live this morning where people think Murray winning Wimbledon would rank in terms of British sporting achievement.  Kenny, what do you reckon?

What about 20 - 20 Tennis

First player to 20 points win (all over in 2 hours) by the time they knock up and it all over in a day if it does not rain. 

do the women get payed the smae a the men ?? If so how the F* ck  

Richy

Gutted I Missed that one Hewitt  & Roddick. A few facts I don’t know who won the game and to be perfectly honest I don’t give a rat ass.

4 Hours on Court. Let’s cut that down to exactly happens in Tennis game.

         15 Mins Walk on court sit down take out all 57 rackets you have in their  two big bags.

·         15 Mins knock up with opponent cannot understand why this happens.

·         10 Mins changing from racket to another ( there all the fucking same )

·         10 Min drink and some food ( which the Fucking ball boys get for him )

·         Play one game yes one game which last four points in the men’s game unless there a double fault.  During points you must wipe your face, hands, legs and allof the racket every 30 sec then they sit down for five mins. Again order ball boy’s around.  50 Mins to play one game.

·         Games go 1-0, 1 -1, 2-1,2-2, until they reach 6-6 all then tie breaker  

·         My dream job would be to operate hawk eye sorry play station 3. Do people believe that   

·         This goes on until it rains or one player who losing gets injured and give up sorry retires and is unable to carry on. What do the crowd do give him a standing ovation.

·         Out of 4 hours I have worked out that they play for only 23 Mins 44 sec. Except if you’re a British player (which means if your any good you’re not! more like Russia or another iron curtain country but you if you have a Union jack on your racket bag you must be British) you only play three sets where you’re a man or woman.

·         So if you telling me that they played for 4 hours you must be watching a different sport.

·         38 Million A year spent on tennis in London (sorry UK) last winner 1936 BC not a great return.

Richy you must be very busy if you can drop everything to watch to people you never met or likely to meet and watch them play a round on tennis.    

1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant, and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من
الثمن. < و الربح له؟

being a sports fan ken, what about yesterdays epic match between hewitt and roddick?!

an aussie and a sepo going hammer and tong for 4 hours displaying immense athleticism and skill, now thats sport!

Sunny Weather, Holidays, Watching Cricket live, Have a sharp one, Pear Cider, Golf, rugby league, Bar-b-q, time away from Rugby players, beach and Saturdays’ off  

i thought you would love glastonbury ken with all its lovely scenery!

Glastonbury is for hippies who are on the dole, vegetarians, gays and drug users only.  Why the government does not try out some chemical bomb for uses in Iraq I don’t know. I‘d rather watch F*cking tennis.

How long is this Tennis going to last?? Who gives a F*cking if Taggart wins or not. He hates the English and they spend a fortune to cheer him on.   

Another one bites the dust